Valkyrie Crusade: Mishaps in the Celestial Realm!
by Essay King of VC
Summary: Follow The Lords of the Celestial Realm (I mean a particular one) and their (his) Misadventures in Valkyrie Crusade. All of them are short stories, and there ain't any lemons (It's safe). I do not own Valkyrie Crusade.
1. Introduction

*Okay guys, this is my first ever story published in . I don't really know much about the 'Publish' feature but I'll learn along the way.. Before I can continue with the story, I have to tell you the OCs that will appear:

**_Shawn 'Donut' King_**: A Lord in the 'Celestial Realm'. A powerful veteran and a silly pervert. If you want to imagine him, just try to think of a normal guy with spiky hair (Anime style!)

**_Miss_****:** Shawn's Advisor, alongside Oracle. She and Oracle are both twin sisters (although Miss does have somewhat larger breasts (An inch larger?)), but she is not a Valkyrie. More outgoing than her sister.

That's all the OCs you'll see. Welp, hope you follow my misadventures.

*P.S. Disclaimers: Valkyrie Crusade is owned by Nubee, not me. All events happening in this fan-made story do not happen in the game. All OCs do not exist in the game, nor do they appear in any other VC-related media. Please support the game by playing it and paying who-knows-how-freaking-much for super-expensive-jewels. Please disregard the last few words of that sentence.*


	2. Summoning: New Girl 'Serket!

(Shawn and Miss are in the 'Room of the Magic Circle', summoning new Valkyries to help them.)

Shawn: *Eats a piece of candy*For all this time, I don't think I've ever truly seen an ugly Valkyrie. Can you explain to me as to why that hasn't happened yet?

Miss: Does it look like I know? Besides, there isn't a Valkyrie with a disgusting sense of fashion.

(Miss puts her hands above the Magic Circle, and summons a Valkyrie. The room is enveloped in light, and the new Valkyrie is…!)

Both: SERKET!?

(The two look in shock and disgust)

Shawn: Are my eyes bleeding yet?

Miss: No, but I think mine i- *Chokes*


	3. Melons, melons, Watermelon

(Watermelon and Shawn are in her room, doing… something)

Watermelon (Close up to face view): Look, Master, I have really ripe, big, juicy watermelons today!

(Shawn looks in glee at the (unseen) sight, his mouth drooling)

Shawn: Whoa, they are really big…

Watermelon: Heheh, want a taste?

Shawn: *Pervy smile* Oh yes…

(His hands reach out to the 'melons'. Suddenly, when it looks as if he was about to grab her breast, he grabs a round watermelon instead)

Shawn: Wow, this watermelon is so shapely. They must be the biggest melons in the world!

Watermelon: Maybe they are!

(The two joyfully laugh like madmen! Miss is outside, watching the two)

Miss: *Sad, crying chibi eyes* Why I no get invited…?


	4. The Unbreakable Nougat! Part 1

(Shawn is in his 'Royal' room, reading a gaming magazine with an 'interesting' cover while he lies on the bed.)

(Candy bursts through the door)

Candy: Hey, Master! Look, I made an unbreakable piece of nougat!

(She jumps on the bed and shows him the nougat)

Candy: It's enchanted with magic, so it won't break!

Shawn: *Unimpressed look* Give it to me.

(She gives it to him)

(He holds it in his hand, and squeezes it a bit)

(It breaks)

Candy: *Sad face*NOOO!


	5. Summoning: New Girl 'Ribbon Girl!

(In the Magic Circle room)

Shawn: *He is drinking tea* Wonder what Valkyrie we'll summon today.

Miss: Yeah, now give me the sacred ticket.

(Shawn hands her a Premium Summon Ticket)

Miss: Okay, now, after I convert this ticket into magical energy, I will try to summon a powerful Valkyrie.

(After a while, she summons…)

**RIBBON GIRL!**

Shawn: *Mouth gaping in surprise* O_O

(He pulls out a scissor, surprising the two)

Miss: HUH!?


	6. The Unbreakable Nougat! Part 2

(Shawn is still in his room reading a different gaming magazine on the bed)

(Candy, once again, bursts in through the door)

Candy: Hey! I did it! I casted the right spells! Now the nougat is unbreakable! Try to break it!

(Again she jumps on the bed and gives him the nougat)

(He squeezes it, but it doesn't break)

Shawn: Huh?

(He squeezes harder, but it doesn't break)

Shawn: -_-… This… Is… WAR…!

(Now he is with the Valkyrie 'Zombie'. He takes out the pickaxe on her head and tries to break the nougat with it)

Shawn: *Swings down* Come on, break!

(It doesn't break)

Shawn: Next…

(Now he is trying to break it with Colonel's gun. The Valkyrie only watches in the distance)

Shawn: Ready… Aim… Fire!

(The gun fires until there is no ammo left. The nougat is still safe and sound)

Shawn: Next…

(Now he has Maidryl trying to break the nougat with her drill)

Maidryl: *Drilling on the nougat*I think my drills gonna break!

Shawn: *Helping her stabilize the drill* Nah! Your drill's too powerful for that!

(The drill suddenly cracks)

Both: HUH!?

(Later he has Gaap next to him)

Gaap: So you wish for me to speed time on the candy-

Shawn: Nougat.

Gaap: *Rolls eyes* -Nougat- just so you can break it?

Shawn: Yeah.

(She speeds up time until the nougat is three million years old)

(It's still the same)

Shawn: O_O. No…

Gaap: Mold…?

(How he is with Magma and a pool of lava)

(Magma dips the nougat in the lava)

(It doesn't melt)

Shawn: *Raging* WHY DON'T YOU DIE ALREADY!?

(Now he is with Alien. Both of them have sunglasses on.)

Alien: Ready the laser beam. *Presses button* Please stand back a bit.

(The laser shoots, but doesn't even cut it one bit)

Alien: *In shock*

(She is suddenly in the corner, depressed)

Alien: W-what power is this…? My superior technology couldn't even destroy it…

Shawn: HUH?!

(Later, he is in his room, sadly staring outside the window (Wow that escalated quickly))

(Candy appears behind him)

Candy: Hah! I told you! That piece of candy is unbreakable!

Shawn: Oh, okay. You're right… It is unbreakable…

Candy: You know how to break it?

Shawn: How…?

(Candy takes the nougat from her pocket and bites it)

(It breaks)

Shawn: *Shocked to the core* OnO…

Candy: *Chews on the nougat* See?

(He stays quiet for a few seconds…)

(Then jumps out of the window)

Candy: HUH!?


	7. Scissors of Pleasure! The Advertisement

(Miss is walking down the hallway, minding her own business)

(Shawn suddenly appears right in front of him)

Shawn: Hey, Miss! I have something for you!

Miss: Whoa, don't scare me like that!

Shawn: Look! *He pulls out a scissor from nowhere* You know what this is?

Miss: Um, a scissor?

Shawn: WRONG!

(She falls, surprised by his outburst)

Shawn: It's the Pleasure of Scisso- I mean 'Scissors of Pleasure'! You know what it does?

Miss: No…

(Shawn crouches down and glares at her)

(He suddenly pokes through the cloth right between her breast and cuts it)

Miss: Argh! *Covers breast with arm*

(Suddenly, there is a advertisement guy's voice narrating)

?: The Scissors of Pleasure! It cuts fabric!

(Ribbon Girl is reading a book in her own room)

(Shawn suddenly appears behind her and cuts her ribbons)

Ribbon Girl: Wha-!?

?: It can cut metal!

(Andromeda is talking with a few other Valkyries (Although you can't see them))

(Shawn cuts her chains)

Andromeda: IYA!

?: And if used properly, one can cut, dice and destroy any piece of clothing in an instant!

(Shawn then cuts Flora's wedding dress)

(Then Diver's bikini)

(Then Thetis' towel)

(And then Alraune's vines)

((Okay, I'm really stretching this) Then Death's hoodie)

(And last of all, Calligrapher's mini-skirt + kimono top)

(After that, we're back with Shawn and Miss in the hallway)

Shawn: HAHAHAHAHA! This Pleasure of Scisso- I mean 'Scissors of Pleasure' is freaking AWESOME! HAHAHAHA!

(Miss only gives a frown as he glorifies the scossors by doing fist pumps with the scissors on his hand)

(As revenge, he grabs his arm and pulls it down on his face, which…)

(Now Miss is outside the Kingdom Hospital with Oracle scolding her)

_**Scissors of Pleasure**_

_**It's Awesome**_


	8. Summoning: New Girl Kushinadahime

(Shawn and Miss are standing in front of the Magic Circle)

(Shawn is drinking from a small milk carton)

Miss: Do you have the sacred ticket, King?

Shawn: Yeah, just got it yesterday. *Hands her Premium Summon Ticket*

Miss: Okay, I'll convert this into magical energy so I can summon a new Valkyrie.

(She throws the ticket into the centre of the Magic circle, and it starts to shine)

(It summons…)

Kushinadahime: Please to make your acquaintance. I'm Kushinadahime y'know?

(Miss greets her, but Shawn only stares, mesmerized)

Shawn: Wow, you're so pretty…

Kushinadahime: Aw, shucks, don't say that, masta *Playful blush*!

(He suddenly pulls out a ring)

Shawn: Will you marry me?

Miss: WHAT THE HECK!? *Kicks him from behind*


	9. Hunter's Stories 1: Giga Chicken

(Shawn and Hunter are both eating in an outdoor restaurant)

Hunter: Why'd you take me here, Master? *Cuts steak on plate* I'd rather eat on the ground in front of a barbeque spit.

Shawn: I just wanted to hang out with someone.

Hunter: *Chews on steak* Then why me?

Shawn: You're a hunter, right? Got any stories?

Hunter: Um, yeah, I got a few.

Shawn: *Happy face* Can you tell me a few?

**_Hunting Stories with Hunter_**

*Hunter is in a cave lit with torches*

Hunter (Narrating): One morning, I was assigned by my Guild to fight off a powerful monster. Sad thing was it ran away, and I didn't have any more food, and I was stranded on the place for many days…

('Flashback Hunter's stomach starts to growl, and she puts her hand on it and a tear comes from her face)

Hunter: So, what do I do?

(Hunter is now running through the grass chasing-)

Hunter: Gigantic CHICKEN!

(A chicken jumps out of the grass and Hunter starts to chase after it)

(Now the scene changes back to the restaurant)

Shawn: Wow, how many did you catch?

Hunter: One, but it's already enough to last for a month. Not kidding.

Shawn: So what do they taste like?

Hunter: *Suddenly wears sunglasses* *Epic voice*Giga Chicken…

Shawn: (1)SUGOI!

_(1)__: Sugoi means awesome in Japanese_


	10. Peeping, the Next Level!

(Shawn is inside a Hot Spring, wearing a towel)

Shawn: Ah, this is the life… *Slides deeper into water*

(A hand slowly wraps around his neck and the Hot Spring Goddess 'Thetis' slowly moves closer to him)

Thetis: Yeah, this is the life…

Shawn: *Relaxed face* …

Thetis: *Relaxed face* …

Shawn: *Rage*WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THE BOY'S SIDE?!

Thetis: Didn't you know this is a mixed hot spring?

Shawn: WHO CARES, GET OUT AND PUT ON A FREAKING TOWEL!

Thetis: Okay, sheesh. *Gets up* But if you want to go to the girl's side, I'm not stopping you.

Shawn: Why would I do that?

Thetis: Because it's no-towel day.

Shawn: O_O…

Thetis: Now take off your towel.

(On the other side, Miss is in one of the many hot springs, her whole body in the water)

Miss: Wonder if King's doing fine…

(Then, there's Shawn's voice from afar)

Shawn: *Faint sound* Oh…

Everyone: Huh?

(He suddenly lands in the middle of Miss' Hot Spring on his back, causing a giant splash)

Shawn: HECK YEAH!

(Don't worry, he has a towel)

Everyone: AAAAAAAAHH!?

.

(Far away…)

.

Bullet Girl: Wonder if I did the angle right...?


	11. Hidden Holiday: BE DAY!

(Shawn is sleeping on his bed. There is a crow of the rooster outside the window as the sun comes up)

(He suddenly wakes up with a huge smile on his face)

Shawn: You know what day it is *:D*.

(He suddenly jumps in front of a giant calendar)

Shawn: Breast Expansion DAY!

…..

(Miss is recording down some records in her room)

Miss: I wonder why my chest feels so warm today?

(Shawn peeks through the door)

Shawn: Suddenly… *Twirls fingers around* TITS!

(Miss' breast expand and it rips the top of her dress (Not her bra, that is) and it knocks some papers down)

Shawn: *Snickers and goes away*

Miss: *Unimpressed face* Well, can't wait for butt expansion day…


	12. When Traps Trap the Trapped

(In Trap Master's room, the door slowly opens, and Shawn peeks in)

Shawn: Why did the other Lords dare me to do this…? Do I really need to get her diary?

(He slowly goes inside and tip-toes through the room)

Shawn: I wonder if they're any traps in here…

(Suddenly, a blade flies near his face, cutting the tip of his hair)

Shawn: OH MY GLOB!

(For the next few seconds, he dodges flames, spikes, blades, bullets, bear traps, trapdoors, a minefield that shoots out cluster bombs, quicksand, piranha pools, crocodile pools, an exploding mat, arrows flying everywhere (How did he not get hit by that?), and finally a cage from the ceiling)

(After all that, he reaches Trap Master's little desk in the far corner of the room, and finds her diary)

Shawn: I can't believe… I did it! *:D* I'm a-freaking-live!

(He grabs the diary, but the mirror on the desk turns around and a giant boxing glove punches him, and he flies through all the traps, getting hit by all of them)

(And now he's in the hospital)

Shawn: Am I gonna be okay, Asclepius…?

Asclepius: Of course. We removed the bullet on your abdomen, took out dozens of piranha and crocodile teeth, pulled out an arrow out of your bottom, bandaged all of your burnt spots, which means your whole body, and with my rod, you got your feet back.

(Suddenly, Trap Master bursts into the room) 

TM: MASTER! WHERE IS MY DIARY!

Asclepius: Oh, that book? Well, to tell you the truth, the bear trap had snapped shut on his hand together with your diary, but because I couldn't take it out to properly administer the cast, I just covered the book together with his whole body. You can get it back in around next week.

(Trap Master is horrified. She suddenly becomes angry)

TM: YOU IDIOT! *Punches him*

Shawn: OW! PLEASE STOP!


	13. The Goddess Confession

(Shawn is walking through the Kingdom Dining Room (It's humongous!))

Shawn: *Notices something* Huh? *Looks back* Hello?

(He sees Leviathan's tail peeking out from the table. She's… Following him?)

Shawn: Leviathan?

Leviathan: U-um, Livvy's not here!

(Leviathan is hiding below the table. Shawn crouches down and sees her. She flinches in fear and hits the table)

Leviathan: AHH! Don't scare Livvy, Master! *Gets out from below the table*

Shawn: What are you doing, stalking me like that?

Leviathan: U-um…! *O/O* I have a confession!

Shawn: … Okay, so what is it?

Leviathan: R-remember the time when you caught me with a rod before I fell to my doom?

Shawn: Oh yeah…

***FLASHBACK!***

(Shawn is standing on top of the highest diving board (Nearly 50 feet in the air), using a rod with a floating tube on the end of the string. Leviathan is holding on the tube, screaming)

Leviathan: Don't you dare let go!

Shawn: I thought you could swim, Archwitch!

Leviathan: I can't swim in chlorine water!

Shawn: You suck!

Leviathan: Shut up already!

***FLASHBACK END…***

Shawn: My hands nearly broke off…

Leviathan: But that's not the point now! The point is, you caught Livvy with one rod.

(She… Slithers (I guess…) closer to Shawn)

Leviathan: And that, in Livvy's eyes, makes you a pro. You can boil me, grill me, kiss me,  
do whatever you want! As long as I'm with you, Master!

Shawn: O_O… *suddenly puts on chef's hat*

Leviathan: O_O…?

Shawn: *Pulls out fork and knife*

Leviathan: O_O…?!

Shawn: Now take off your swimsuit.

Leviathan: *Throws chair* I DIDN'T MEAN THAT, MASTER!

…

(Shawn has fainted…)

Leviathan: AH! Master!


	14. Saffron's Love Potion

(In the basement, Saffron is mixing ingredients in a cauldron)

Saffron: Yes, my ten years of research and testing are finally at the end! I shall make the perfect love potion! And my first victim will be… *Grabs a picture of Shawn from her pocket* MASTER!

(She scoops up some of the mixture with a flask)

Saffron: Now time to administer it…

…

(In the Royal Kitchen)

(Saffron sneaks up to a pot of stew, dressed as a French chef (complete with a moustache))

Saffron: *Drops flask's content into pot* Yes, now that I have poured the mixture into his dinner, my plan is working perfectly. Now Master will LOVE ME! HAHAHA!

(Then she notices everyone looking at her warily)

Saffron: U-um, b-bonjour! *Runs away*

…

(The Royal Dinner…)

(Everyone is here, waiting for the food)

Saffron: *In thought* _Yes, Master's here! Now he will eat the food and fall head over heels in love with me!_

(The Chef comes in and makes an announcement)

Chef: Good evening, my Lord, today you will be eating the highest class beef stew!

Saffron: *In thought* _The one with the potion!_

Chef: But today is special!

Saffron: What…?

Chef: In fact, today, EVERYONE GETS TO TRY SOME STEW!

Saffron: *In really serious thought* _WHAT!?_

(The waiters serve the food while Saffron watches in terror)

Waiter: Here you go, Miss Saffron.

Saffron: U-um, thanks.

(Further away…)

Shawn: Guys, you can eat first, I'll wait and see if you guys like it.

(Everyone scoops up the stew except for Saffron)

Saffron: U-um…!

(The food is getting closer to their mouths)

Saffron: *On the verge of exploding*

(SO CLOSE NOW!)

Saffron: THE FOOD'S SPIKED WITH MY LOVE POTION! DON'T-!

(Every Valkyrie takes a bite, then they all gasp in surprise)

(They suddenly relax, and hearts fly out of their heads)

Saffron: My potion's that potent!?

Shawn: Err, so what's gonna happen to me…O_O…?

(Everyone looks at him, and they all give seductive smiles)

Saffron: Better run…

(Shawn runs away, with everyone in tow)

Shawn: Oh no, not you too, Serket! Get your claws off me!

(And so Shawn hid for a whole week…)

…

Miss: Hm…? What happened *Wakes up from sleep*

(She walks to her closet, and opens it to find Shawn)

Shawn: *With tattered clothes* GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU MONSTROUS, BIG BOOBED WOMAN WHO TRIED TO SUFFOCATE ME WITH THEM!

Miss: O_O… What was I doing?


	15. Dare or Dare: Slipping Aphrodisiac

(Shawn is receiving his mail given by his comrades)

Shawn: Hmm? *Opens envelope* A dare from the others? Oh boy…

_**Dear Shawn,**_

_**We, from your alliance 'El Biscuito', want you to finish a dare for us. Tonight, while all your Valkyries are eating, exchange their shampoo with Aphrodisiac. Don't you even say no. Just do it.**_

_**From your super great friend and Alliance Leader , Yami**_

Shawn: What's Aphrodisiac…? *Thinks* Hmm… Oh, I get it!

…

(The next day)

(Shawn is eating breakfast alone)

Shawn: Well, the dare is done. Wonder where everyone is…

(The door bursts open, and everyone rushes in)

Everyone: MASTER!

(They all gather around him)

Everyone: *Angry face*

Shawn: U-uh, what do you want?

Everyone: SOMEONE CHANGED OUR SHAMPOO!

Shawn: U-um, with what…? *Trying to cover evidence*

(Aphrodite comes in from the door)

Aphrodite: Hmm, smells like my rose-scented shampoo…

…

(In the Alliance Hall)

Alliance Leader: Why do I sense failure…


	16. Lost and Found: Teiaiel's shoe

(Shawn is waiting outside the Castle)

Shawn: *Sigh* Where is she?

(Teiaiel comes out from the Castle)

Teiaiel: Hey, Master. So you're gonna play with me today?

Shawn: Yeah. Didn't we arrange for this yesterday?

Teiaiel: Oh yeah. Well, come on, let's play on the swings!

(Later, they arrive at the park)

Shawn: Huh? *Looks down* Where's your other shoe?

Teiaiel: It came off. That's why we have mild weather today.

Shawn: O_O… Oh.

(Teiaiel sits on the swing. Shawn is ready to push)

Teiaiel: Remember, don't push so hard or else my other shoe will come off.

Shawn: And what happens then?

Teiaiel: *Happy face*A storm with winds reaching 200 kilometers per hour will hit the kingdom.

Shawn: O_o…

Teiaiel: Okay, I'm ready.

Shawn: O-okay…

(Before he pushes, he turns his head to the castle, where, in one of the bathrooms, the window is open and someone (Who knows who) is taking a shower)

Shawn: HOLEY TWIN PEAKS! *Pushes full force*

(Teiaiel's swing goes a full 360, and the swing hits Shawn on the head, sending him a few feet in front)

Teiaiel: Ah, are you okay!

Shawn: *Head deep in the ground* Yeah… Don't worry about me…

(He gets up, but sees her shoe is missing)

Shawn: Where's your shoe!?

(They both look up (robot style), and see her shoe still flying higher, and then dropping to the ground)

(Then a storm cloud appears in the horizon)

Shawn: *Poker face of horror* Oh my glob… What have I done…?

Teiaiel: *Poker face of horror* Expect a hurricane to arrive at t-minus two minutes…


	17. Quiet Little Calamity

(A few Valkyries are talking to each other in the Kingdom's 'Living Room', but Calamity is staring at them in a distance)

Calamity: *Sigh* They always chatter without me… Do they not see me as someone to talk to…

(A hand lands on her shoulder, and she finds Shawn beside her)

Shawn: *Smiles* Look at them, talking away while you stay in the corner. Do you feel lonely sometimes?

(She does not answer his question, instead looks away)

Shawn: Oh come on, look at me.

(She doesn't)

Shawn: Look at me now, so I can know that you're listening.

(She doesn't look at him)

Shawn: Well, why don't you talk to them for once? Let them know that you have something to talk about.

(Shawn closes his eyes and gives a big smile)

Shawn: I know you have stories to tell. Why don't you start with telling me something?

(He opens his eyes and finds her face just inches from his)

(He immediately pulls back)

Shawn: Whoa! Now that scared me! Don't do that again, please!

Calamity: Is it true?

Shawn: Huh?

Calamity: That you believe I have something to say, even though everyone says I don't.

Shawn: Well, I know all the other Valkyries do, so why not you?

(Calamity starts to blush, but she easily shakes it off)

Calamity: S-so… What do you want to hear from me?

(Before they start, the other Valkyries start giggling)

The Valkyries: Oh my, Calamity and Master are in a RELATIONSHIP! :D!

Shawn: *Disgusted* Uh, what?

(Calamity stays quiet, but her miasma slowly releases, and the smoke slowly reaches out to a table and it starts to rot, bursts into flames, gets impaled by steel poles coming out from nowhere, and falls down into a hole leading to the centre of the Celestial Realm)

Everyone: O_o…

Shawn: That table was expensive…


	18. The Art of Drinking Tea

(In the Kingdom Dining Room, Shawn is waiting for his tea to arrive)

(After a while, it arrives)

Shawn: Oh, sweet! I'm thirsty.

(He picks up the teaspoon, but something pulls it off his hands)

Shawn: Huh?

Teaspoon: Now, now, Master. I'll stir your tea for you.

Shawn: Um, okay.

(She stirs the tea and adds the sugar)

Teaspoon: Okay, I'm done!

Shawn: *Sips tea from spoon* Mmm, much flavor. I've never tasted tea like this before.

(He slowly drinks the tea using the spoon, but everytime he finishes sipping, he licks the spoon a few times)

Teaspoon: O/O…

Shawn: *Lick* *Lick*

Teaspoon: M-Master…

Shawn: What?

Teaspoon: I-I never knew you were so... Hentai (1)…

Shawn: HUH?! WHAT?! HUH!?

* * *

(1): Hentai is Japanese for 'pervert'. Please do not search it up in google… Just don't… Please… I beg you…


	19. Midnight Cooking with Forneus

(It is night, every house has no lights, and even the Kingdom Castle is dark. Except for one place…)

(In the Kitchen, Forneus is secretly honing her cooking skills)

Forneus: Hmm, needs more salt… *Sprinkles, the tastes* Okay, it's perfect.

(She turns away to get more ingredients)

Forneus: *Takes cabbage* Hmph, the others say I can't cook. It's all because they have never even seen me cook. How pompous they are! *Takes beef*Tomorrow, I'll show them. I shall beat the Head Chef in a cook-off, and I shall take the title as 'Greatest Chef in the Celestial Realm'!

(While she continues talking to herself, the door silently opens, and someone sneaks in unnoticed)

Forneus: And if I have the chance, maybe I'll give Master some of my famous 'Hot-as-Hell Spice Stew'.

(A hand suddenly lands on her shoulder)

Forneus: *Cringe* A-ah-!

(She turns around, and finds Shawn, half-asleep)

Shawn: Huh…? Can I get… Some water?

Forneus: U-uh, M-Master, what a pleasant surprise!

(He yawns)

Shawn: Water…

Forneus: *Thinking* _Oh, he's too drowsy to know who I am. Maybe if I give him what he asked for, he'll leave me alone. _* Stop thinking* O-okay, Master. I'll get some for you.

(She turns around and gets water for him)

Forneus: *turns around* Here, Master, now go back to-

(His hand places itself on her breast, but he's too sleepy to notice)

Forneus: … … … … …_**WWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT**_?!

(She instinctively punches him on the stomach)

**!DEVIL BUSTER!**

(He faints, with blood trailing out of his mouth)

Forneus: A-ah! Master!

…

…

(And now they are at the Kingdom Hospital. Forneus is sitting outside Shawn's room with Oracle scolding her)


	20. The new Event's FAW

_Response to PolyVC: Okay, I know it's been a long time, but thank you for the review. I really appreciate it, and sorry for declining your Alliance Request. It's just that I have my own Alliance now, all my friends are in it and I can't abandon them. I hope you understand (Unless you want to be in our Alliance (Don't worry, I'm not serious here))._

_(P.S. My dream is to get this fanfic to reach out to the people at Nubee, the makers of Valkyrie Crusade, and I hope they do something with it. Maybe make short mangas in their magazines or maybe… Nah, that'll never happen. I'm expecting too much…)_

* * *

(It's a New Event today (Yay…)! Shawn, Oracle and his team of Valkyries, consisting of Himiko, Leviathan, Lilim, Chocodevil and Uriel, are trekking around the 'Dawn of the Gods' area)

Shawn: *Listens* Whoa, I love this song!

Himiko: It doesn't match my taste. It's too fast.

Lilim: *Yawns* Boring. I'd rather hear pleasurable moans.

(Everyone looks at her in surprise, then looks away)

Chocodevil: Umm, well, I thinks it's okay. I don't like it or anything, but it's okay.

Leviathan: I'll like what Master likes!

Uriel: *Smacks Leviathan on head* Don't shout in public!

Leviathan: OW!

Oracle: Hey, stop hitting the Valkyries.

Uriel: But she is being so destructive!

Leviathan: When was Livvy being so destructive?

(Everyone looks behind them, and they see overturned speakers, burning curtains, broken mics and mic stands, destroyed instruments, and burning lights)

(Arrow Points TO (Drum-roll) …..Leviathan's huge tail)

Leviathan: Huh, how did all this happen!?

Everyone: (Thinking) _Really, you don't know?_

Oracle: Please stop quarrelling; I have had enough of your chatter today.

(They still quarrel)

Shawn: Uh, guys, please stop…

Chocodevil: *Listens* OHMYGOSH! Is that Idol!? *Shrieks* Gotta get an autograph (runs away)

Lilim: *Sigh* Maybe I should just go look for boys… (Walks away)

Himiko: Urgh, I hate this song's speed! *Closes eyes and covers ears*

(Seeing how everyone is not listening to her, Oracle's rage starts to build up)

Oracle: Grr… How does sister dearest go through this everyday in the Castle?

(Unknown to everyone, strange and small probes start gathering above Oracle. After gathering into a large clump, they grab Oracle and start connecting together)

Oracle: H-huh!? Wha-what is this sorcery?!

(The others still don't notice her)

(The probes start to attack her own probes, injecting data into them and causing them to mold into giant probes with all the smaller ones)

Oracle: H-hey! MASTER!

(Shawn looks at her, Uriel and Leviathan stop quarrelling, Chocodevil stops her little autograph session, Himiko starts to listen, and Lilim, in the middle of seducing boys, stops and looks)

Shawn: H-huh!?

(Oracle tries to shake free, but a magical force takes off her headdress, and replaces it with one that has a blue gem in it. When it touches her head, a bright flash of light blinds everyone)

(After the light, the others blink and see Oracle with giant probes and different clothing)

Shawn: O-Oracle?

?: *Strange voice*Oracle? My name is not Oracle anymore…

(The probes start glowing red)

?: I work for the Gods now, for they have chosen a new Archwitch, and that is me. Not Oracle. But 'Oracle Ascendant'.

(Purple balls form at the tip of the probes, and out comes an ice spike)

OA: 'Archwitch Ice Shard'…

(The ice spikes fly to every Valkyrie, even Shawn, but they all dodge it)

Shawn: Oh boy, girls, to Battle Station!

(All five Valkyries gather in front of him, as if shielding him)

Uriel: I sense a spike in power! Reaching HSR or UR levels!

Shawn: What!? Impossible! No Archwitch has ever gone up to a UR level!

(Before Oracle Ascendant can do anything, a large shock causes her to scream in agony)

Chocodevil: W-what's happening?!

Uriel: Wait, no… Something's wrong! Her power level is drastically increasing! I-I think she's-

Shawn: *Eyes filled with horror* A Fantasy…

(The shock disappears, and Oracle Ascendant rises from the ground and slashes at them, causing the ground to split in half, and the others to quickly dodge)

Shawn: *On ground, eyes closed* *Coughs* Hey, you girls okay?!

Lilim: Yeah, but I think I have a cut on my boobs...

Leviathan: *Pulls tail out of debris* I'm okay.

Chocodevil: Ah, my chocolate-y smell! It's gone!

Himiko: My fan! It's broken!

Uriel: Wait, Oracle's presence is slowly disappearing!

(They all stand up from the wreckage, and see that Oracle Ascendant is gone)

Shawn: No… How am I going to tell Miss and Chaos this…?

...

...

(Somewhere far away, in a particular giant Castle, a little girl with a composer's stick is walking through the hallway to a giant door)

(The door automatically opens, and she walks in)

(In front of her are huge thrones reaching to unimaginable levels. On the thrones are the 'evil' Gods)

?: Orchestra, you have arrived…

Orchestra: Yes, my Gods. What is it that you want? Do you want to hear my music today?

?: No, my darling, today is a special occasion. You have been our most trusted Valkyrie since who-knows-when, and we have picked you to be this event's new Archwitch.

Orchestra: *Big smile* Really?! I'm the new Archwitch!?

?: Yes. Seeing how you are so loyal to us, there is no chance that you will turn against us and work for the Lords.

Orchestra: Don't worry, my Gods! I shan't let you down! I shall serve you forever!

?": But I have something else we want you to do.

Orchestra: You mean… Another Archwitch has rebelled and has become a 'Fantasy-classed' Archwitch?

?: Yes, but the strangest thing is that someone other than us owns this Archwitch, with the special spell 'Archwitch Pick', that we once thought only we have. We do not know who picked this Archwitch-turned-Fantasy, but we wish for you to hunt this Fantasy Archwitch, and maybe find out who did it.

(Orchestra turns around, and marches to the door)

Orchestra: Don't worry, Gods. *Evil smile* I'll do everything you say…

* * *

_Okay, guys, I'll give you a spoiler, I'm thinking of making a fanfiction about the Archwitches and their daily routines. Well, I won't be updating for a while (That's a MAYBE), because I'll be working on the other fanfic (Which I mentioned just now). Hope you liked this chapter. When the current event (17__th__ March 2014-1__st__ April 2014 Celestial Jubilee) ends, I'll post a follow up to this chapter. So get ready, guys, because a wave of funny (and maybe perverted stuff) is coming up next! _


	21. H&H! Rivalry at its Finest!

_Hey, it's been a while since I updated. So today, I'm putting out a new OC. Okay, some of you readers hate OCs, and I know how it feels when you are reading a fanfic and some OC you don't know about just crashes in and ruins the whole fanfic, but my OCs are here for a reason. Without an OC, how does my fanfic have any structure? Does it only center on the Valkyries? If that happened, there would be less stuff to write about. But with a guy OC, then a lot of funny (but potentially perverted) stuff would happen. So even if you guys don't feel interested in my OC, then I'm very sorry, but you just have to bear with it…_

…

(Everyone is gathered outside what seems to be a forest of palm trees)

Shawn: Okay, guys! Are you ready for today's challenge!?

Everyone: Yeah!

Shawn: Are you ready to beat the heat and potentially drown!?

Everyone: YEA-Wait, what?

Shawn: THEN I PRESENT TO YOU *Points to the forest* THE KINGDOM'S GRAND BEACH RESORT!

(The forest parts, and a humongous beach comes into view)

(Everyone gasps in surprise and awe, and they all start running to the beach)

Shawn: Wow, look how happy they all are…

(A young man appears next to him)

?: *Wide grin* Anata wa karera ga mizugi ni iru shiawasede wanaidesu ka? (He's speaking Japanese)

Shawn: Uh… can you speak in English, please?

?: Aren't you happy they're in swimsuits?

Shawn: O_o… *Looks at the Valkyries, then turns back* Good one, Sain…

(The boy gives him a 'thumbs up')

Shawn: Wait, where's Spade? Thought she was with you?

Sain: Oh, she's changing. *Looks away and blushes* Kanojo wa totemo sekushīdearu koto o okonatte iru... (1)

Shawn: Huh? What?

…

(Hresvelgr is sunbathing)

Hresvelgr: Man, it's so hot today… *Put sunglasses on* Don't wake me up…

(Shawn is walking around nearby, stopping near the shore and watching the others playing in the water)

Shawn: Hmm… *His vision starts analyzing everyone* Now where is Aries and her tiny bikini…

(A finger pokes his shoulders. He turns around and sees Hiderigami with a glass of juice on each hand)

Shawn: Hey. *Eyes fixed on her breast* Why ain't you… Um… playing in the water?

Hiderigami: I just came out. *Offers juice* You thirsty?

Shawn: Oh, thanks.

(He takes the glass, and touches her hands. She starts to blush, but he doesn't notice)

Hiderigami: S-so, um, how's life?

Shawn: Why are you asking me that? It's so cliché, you know?

Hiderigami: B-but I was just curious! I mean, everyone's life is different, r-right?

Shawn: So... You just want to know me more?

(She starts blushing more)

Hiderigami: W-what!? U-um, I don't mean it that way! I just…!

(A groan catches their attention and they turn around. Hresvelgr is now burnt because Hiderigami was accidentally making the sun brighter because she was flustered)

Shawn: Hmm, fried chicken wings…

Hiderigami: Uh, I think we should help her…

…

(Hresvelgr is now below a palm tree, her skin still somewhat tanned)

Hresvelgr: Urgh… Sunburns… *Looks at Hiderigami, who is playing with Shawn* Damn you…

(She slowly raises her wings and flaps them, creating a large gust of wind which blows the water and makes a huge wave which sweeps Shawn and Hiderigami off their feet)

(Shawn finds himself on the beach after being swept away)

Shawn: Urgh… What happened?

(Hiderigami is on top of him)

Hiderigami: Ah, y-you okay, Master?

Shawn: Yeah, I'm-

(He sees that Hiderigami's top is missing. Her breasts are just inches away from his face)

Shawn: *Nosebleeds*

Hiderigami: OnO… *Runs away with hands covering her chest* IYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Further away, Hresvelgr snickers)

…

(Now Hiderigami is hiding behind a palm tree)

(She gets a flashback where her sister Amefurashi tells her that Hresvelgr made the wave with her wind)

Hiderigami: *Looks at Shawn, who is tending to Hresvelgr* You're lucky I found my top… Time for revenge!

(She uses her power to make the sun very hot. She aims one small dot of the sunlight on Hresvelgr's bra strap, and burns it clean off. The bra comes off, of course, and exposes her not-so tanned breast)

Hresvelgr: Wha-! *Starts blushing*

Shawn: Huh? *Starts nosebleeding*

(They are seemingly frozen… Until Hresvelgr covers her breast with her arms and flaps her wings, sending Shawn flying away)

Hresvelgr: DON'T LOOK!

Shawn: WAAAAAH! *Flies away*

(Hiderigami only looks in shock as Shawn drops into the water, in the middle of a group of Valkyries, with a big splash)

Shawn: *Floating in water, head on the surface* Urgh… *Looks around, seeing every Valkyrie's surprised face, especially Aries'* Oh… I found you, Aries... *Sinks*

Everyone: EH!? MASTER'S DROWNING!?

…

(Now it is night. Everyone is eating a barbeque dinner)

Shawn: So how was your day, Sain?

Sain: Spade sekushīdatta~~~.

Shawn: English...

Sain: Spade was sexy~~~ *Puts on cute cat face*-w-.

Shawn: Er… 'Kay? Where is she anyway?

Sain: She had to leave. Said she got another assassination job.

Shawn: Oh, okay. And… *Looks over to one of the tables* Why do those two look so aggressive…?

(On that table, Hresvelgr and Hiderigami are both snarling at each other while they eat their steak)

Sain: Oh, you don't wanna know…

...

_(1): Japanese for 'She is going to be so/very sexy'._

_P.S. I am using Google translate for the Japanese parts. I know there are grammar errors, but that's how Google Translate is. I could have just asked my Japanese friend to help me, but he's not here now…_


	22. Non-Canon Gaming Session!

_Hey, guys! What's up!? Okay, to answer Poly's question about who the OCs are:_

_You were quite right on a few points. Yes, Sain is my friend, but that isn't his name. It's just the name he uses in VC. And of course, Shawn is ME….. Of course not… He's my friend, actually. Truth is, a month ago (Or two), the very first chapter, the part where I introduce the OCs, I actually wrote that Shawn was my friend (Who is perverted, that is), but he wanted that erased because it would ruin a few aspects of the fanfic. Now it's not there anymore… So, did I answer your question?_

_Okay, this chapter is non-canon. It's just my imagination running wild. Sadly, I can't promise you there won't be another chapter that is based on this one, but if you like it, fine. If you don't, then fine. _

* * *

(Oracle is outside a large magic circle (Which acts as a teleporter), keeping the magic in check. Miss is doing something else at the moment)

Oracle: I wonder what Master is asking from the Valkyrie council? Must be something important…

(A bright flash of light appears, and Shawn comes back from who-knows-where)

Shawn: HUZZAH! *Laughs like crazy* I am BACK!

Oracle: So what did you request from the council, my Lord?

Shawn: Computers…

Oracle: Oh. *Silent for a moment*. Wait, can you repeat that?

Shawn: A whole lot of COMPUTERS!

(Computers start shooting out of the magic circle, nearly burying Oracle)

Shawn: Oh, and internet. *Modem drops on to his hand* Got the council to 'borrow' the fastest internet on Earth. Even got the satellite in orbit already.

(Up in space, a satellite orbits around the Celestial Realm… Actually, it's just floating in a random path…)

Oracle: *Pushes computer away* What are you trying to do…?

Shawn: Well, seeing how there ain't much entertainment around, I thought I could bring out some old-school First-Person shooters or some Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games, or M.M.O.R.P.G for short.

Oracle: But we don't have any electricity for electronics…

Shawn: Oh, but we do have Lightning and maybe we could use Cyborg's excess energy.

Oracle: Do you even think they'll comply with this?

Shawn: Of course they will! Who do you think they are?

(Of course, they agree, and they start giving specific people computers (Only those who can handle the AWESOME-NESS of one, that is))

Dagon: Why don't I get one?

Shawn: NOH! You don't have the experience to use this awe-inspiring piece of tech!

(Later, they start using the computers)

Shawn: Wow, this internet's no joke! I can watch movies that buffer in one mere second!

(Someone sends him a Skype request)

Shawn: Huh? How did they know about Skype?

(Further away, Hacker is helping Miss use her computer)

Hacker: Are you sure you want him as a friend?

Miss: Why not? I mean no harm done, right?

Hacker: Yeah, I guess… Well, time to attend to the others computer idiots…

(Later, they start downloading games)

Shawn: Oh yeah, League of Legends in ten seconds… _(Dota fans are going to get me!)_

Everyone with a computer: *On Skype* What's that?

Shawn: Oh, it's a game that's… How should I put it…? Just go look it up and get it.

Everyone: Okay!

(Later, they all play LoL (Lol…))

Shawn: Is that you, Spenta Mainyu?

SM: Yes, that would be me as Ashe…

(Suddenly, everyone playing in the server appears from the foliage and attack him (He's alone))

Hacker: I'll see to your death with my Evolution turrets…

Pyromaniac: I'm gonna burn you with my bear of awesome-ness!

Nike: I predict that victory will come to me! Right, Sivir?

Hunter: Am I the only Normal-class Valkyrie here…?

Everyone: *Stops fighting* Yes…

Hunter: W-well, Rengar will take your head, today!

(They all carelessly use their Ultimate skills)

Shawn: Oh, not so fast! *With Master Yi, he uses his skill and dodges most of the Ultimate skills*

Everyone: *Faces of extreme shock and anguish*

(Shawn effectively kills off everyone except Spenta Mainyu)

SM: Run away… *Oddly calm*

(Shawn dashes to her and slays her)

_**PENTAKILL**_

Shawn: Yes, a Spenta Kill *SHAWN USES 'PUN BOMB' SKILL*.

Pyromaniac: WHAT KIND OF A PUN IS THAT!? SAY THAT AGAIN AND I WILL KILL YOU!


	23. The Event's FAW Ends

(Shawn is standing in front of a stage, arms crossed. It is night)

Shawn: Where is she… *Breathes slowly*

(He blinks once, and in that moment, he finds Oracle Ascendant in front of him, 'probe blade' drawn and ready)

OA: You have been expecting me, have you not?

Shawn: Yeah… *Stares into her soulless eyes* You kept me waiting for quite some time. Is that not polite?

OA: I know. *Tightens grip on blade* How is your daily life?

Shawn: Oh, it's been fine, trying to stop Miss from fretting over you and all that stuff.

OA: My sister? That incompetent little girl who can never be independent? I expected that reaction from her…

Shawn: Uh, can we stop the talking? It's boring me, you know?

OA: Hmm… It seems that you wish to die quickly…

Shawn: Just swing!

(Oracle swings the blade, but then a bright flash blinds everyone. Someone has blocked the attack)

OA: Who-!

(With a chainsaw on her hand, Chainsaw Girl starts revving it up)

CG: How weak of you. I didn't even need to rev it up…

Shawn: NOW!

(The floor parts, and a giant pair of clasps grasp her and immobilize her.)

Trap Master: *Hops down from roof*Yes! Caught her with my new trap!

OA: You think this simple trap can hold me?

Shawn: Well… Not really… But we hope this is enough for the next part of the operation.

OA: Next… Part…?

(Hacker appears behind the three and walks up to her)

Hacker: This won't hurt at all…

(A holographic screen appears in front of her and she tries to hack into the probes)

Hacker: Hmm… A very tight firewall, but no matter. *Pulls out thumb drive* This 'Death Virus' shall destroy the probes. I have programmed them to not touch the original ones, so I should not even care about you…

(She plugs the thumb drive into a holographic USB plug, and the data comes out as a small, red stream into the blue gem on her headdress)

OA: A-ah… *Sudden shock* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Each and every probe starts flashing red as electricity starts fizzing out. The others cover their eyes as the flashing continues)

Shawn: Hacker! Are you sure this will work!?

Hacker: *Looks back* I have no idea… WAIT, OF COURSE I DO! Stop pulling me into your references!

Shawn: Huh?! She's retorting her own actions and words!

TP: Uh, can you guys concentrate on what you're doing?

CG: There's a bit more spark than I expected…

(While the others are preoccupied, Oracle Ascendant forces her arms up, and severs the data line, causing the holographic USB plug to explode, sending Hacker stumbling in surprise)

CG: *Revs up chainsaw* Get back, Master!

(Oracle starts struggling, feeling pain from all the hacking. The blue gem starts to flash different colors, and a bright flash of light blinds them)

(After the blinding glare, Shawn slowly regains his vision, sees Hacker on the ground and runs to her)

Hacker: No… Impossible…

Shawn: What? What happened?

Hacker: The virus… It failed…

(Oracle Ascendant tries to slash at the two, but Chainsaw Girl intervenes for the second time)

Shawn: Now's not the time to talk about that! *Grabs her wrist* Can you stand?

Hacker: *Moves leg* I can't…! Statistics show that my ankles suffered a twist…

Shawn: Well, I've got no choice, then! *Grabs her waist and puts her on her shoulder*

(She starts blushing, but stops when they narrowly missed a sharp piece of ice which cuts the whole stage in half)

Shawn: *At the top of his lungs* START PLAN 'B', NOW!

(A pack of firecrackers start raining down close to Oracle, and they start exploding, causing her to be immobilized by the light)

(Firecracker appears from the bush)

Firecracker: OKAY! She can't move for a while! Now go beat her up!

Shawn: Dragon Goddess!

(A dragon slithers to the skies, coming down to Oracle and binding her with its body. The firecrackers die down, and Oracle tries to struggle free, but a spear touches her neck)

DG: Move and I will damage that frail body of yours…

(Oracle tries to grab her blade, but it's not there)

?: You looking for this?

(She turns around, and sees Spade with the blade on the floor)

Spade: Took it from you when you weren't looking… *Turns to Shawn* Can I go back home now? That idiot might be asking everyone where I am…

Shawn: Yeah, shoo…

(She disappears, and the others approach the captured Oracle)

Shawn: If the virus didn't work, what's next…?

Hacker: *Now limping with a hand on Shawn's shoulder* I don't know… I might need to create another virus that is more potent…

DG: Hmph! That sounds weak, why not just destroy the ge-? *Swings spear to gem, but accidentally breaks it*

Everyone: O_o…

(With the gem broken, it sends a huge shock that starts hurting Oracle, and a bright flash (You should all be blind now…) makes everyone cover their eyes)

(They all open their eyes, and they find Oracle on the ground, limp)

Shawn: Oracle!

* * *

(Oracle wakes up in a hospital bed)

Oracle: Hmm…? What happened…?

(Arms envelop her, and she finds Miss hugging her)

Miss: Don't you dare leave me again…

Oracle: *O-O…* What happened? Where did I go?

Miss: Don't you remember!? You turned into an Archwitch, and we tried getting you back for fifteen days! I couldn't keep everyone calm myself! I was panicking and panicking! Everything was so much harder to do without you!

(Shawn opens the door with a grin)

Shawn: When did you become so whinny, Missy?

Miss: When were you listening, King!?

Shawn: Chill down, calm your mountains. I have something for Oracle.

Oracle: Hm?

Shawn: Can you walk?

(Oracle tries coming out of bed, and she tries walking. Both are a success)

Oracle: Yes, so what is it that you wish to show me?

(He turns around and Oracle follows him)

* * *

Oracle: What is this?

(In front of her is all the probes that attacked her, all inactive and on the ground)

Shawn: You don't remember what these are?

Oracle: No… I have no memory of these things…

Shawn: *Turns to her* Nothing?

Oracle: *Shakes head* Nothing.

Shawn: Well, try touching them, maybe they'll reactivate when you touch it.

(She hesitantly walks up to it, and places a hand on one of the probes. They do not go on)

Oracle: Nothing is happening.

Shawn: Hmm, that's weird… They should react to your touch… Maybe destroying that gem did break the probe's control unit…

Oracle: Maybe… SO tell me, how did I turn into an Archwitch?

Shawn: Oh, that!

(The two continue conversing as they walk through the door)

(The door closes, and one of the probes start to flash momentarily, before each and every probe start flashing)

…

(In the Event Map, Orchestra is running through the place, trying to get back home)

Orchestra: *Panicked face, thinking* _I can't believe it! That Lord actually defeated her! For fourteen days, I hunted both of them down, and I thought I was lucky that the two met, but MY GODS, they were so powerful! I never knew that Lord had that much strength!_

_(_She accidentally bumps intoa group of Shawn's Valkyries, who are just taking a stroll and immediately recognize her)

Hiruko: Hey, is that not…?

Metatron: Yes, that is Orchestra.

Orchestra: A-ah…! *Look of horror* *Turns around and runs away* G-get away from me, traitors!

(Everyone starts chasing after her. After a while, they get very close to her, and they signal to Reindeer Girl)

RG: Okay! *Runs closer* **REINDEER DRIFT**!

(A sled appears, and she uses her body to swing it, hitting her on the leg and causing Orchestra to trip and fall)

Orchestra: N-no-!

(A staff aims at her neck)

Mephistopheles: If you want to escape, why not give me your soul?

(Orchestra starts looking around for a way out, but, of course, there is no way out…)

Orchestra: Oh no… Don't kill me…!

Nicola: Do you think we're that crazy? Of course we won't kill you! We'll take you back to Master.

Orchestra: *O_O* I'd rather give my soul away! Just please, not that idiot!

(Seeing that she was struggling, Nicola grabs her and puts her in her sack)

Nicola: Yeah, and I'm Santa Claus.

Metatron: My databanks show that you are technically Santa Claus…

Nicola: Are you saying I'm fat!? Do I look like I have a huge as heck beard on me!?

Hiruko: Can we just go back… I wish to sit on my reed boat later…

…

Shawn: So…

(Shawn is sitting on a throne, with Orchestra is in front of him, tied to a chair)

Shawn: I've been looking for you for quite a long time…

Orchestra: If you think I'll work for you, you better think twice!

Shawn: Whoa, calm your mountains! Where did you hear that?

Orchestra: The Gods! They told me that every Archwitch was forced to work for you! Archwitches like them! *Glares at the Valkyries next to Shawn*

Shawn: Umm… I forced no one to work for me… They just followed me, that's all.

Orchestra: *Shocked* I-Is this true…?!

Hiruko: Is this the face of a liar…?

Leviathan: I'm here because Master saved Livvy.

Cacao: He liked chocolate, so I followed him back and we became friends after a while.

Orchestra: N-no… Impossible…! How dare you turn your back to the Gods!

Shawn: Whoa, chill down! Look, I hate to say this, but the gods don't own you anymore.

Orchestra: W-what…? B-but they trust me the most…

Shawn: Well, listen.

(A booming voice echoes through the whole Kingdom)

?: **To all the Lords. A new event has been released. We have confirmation on the new Archwitches.**

Orchestra: W-wait, that can't be. I-I'm still here! The event can't be over until I am gone!

Shawn: No, the Gods have already decided. You failed-

Orchestra: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!? THEY TRUST ME THE MOST! I WAS THE TRUE FIRST ARCHWITCH WITH THEM, THEY CAN'T JUST ABANDON ME!

Shawn: Well, they did, sorry…

(Orchestra starts weeping, and Shawn signals them to untie her. After untying her, she drops to the ground, and continues crying)

(Shawn rises up and walks towards her. He crouches down and whispers into her ears)

Shawn: Please stop crying. I don't feel very comfortable when near crying people, especially my cry-baby friend.

Orchestra: *Sobs* T-The Gods l-left m-me! I can't g-go back!

Shawn: Then why not stay here. We have everything you need here, your former friends, a place to stay, food, everything. Even instruments.

Orchestra: B-but I don't h-have any f-friends! I n-never bonded with t-them. I c-called them low l-life, and for n-no reason!

Shawn: *Sighs, then stands up and faces the others* Do you guys, I mean girls, consider her a friend?

Everyone: Yeah…

Shawn: come on, girls! Scream at the top of your lungs YES!

Everyone: YEAH!

(He turns around and faces the already tear-drenched Orchestra)

Shawn: Does that not entertain you!?

Orchestra: *Looks up* Y-you… *Starts tearing up again*

(She hugs Shawn and start crying on his coat. He is at first surprised, but he hugs back in reply. Orchestra starts sobbing loudly)

Orchestra: *Sobs* I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

* * *

**You have acquired the SR card ORCHESTRA.**


End file.
